Unless you're actively working with a writing coach to help you improve the manuscript, I really don't see a point in waiting. Send it out and see what comes back, then work from there to improve it - if you get rejections (which, by the way, are almost certain...it's just part of being a writer).
Or if you still want to wait, get on board with someone who specialises in memoir and work with them towards a deadline of when you want to submit to publishers. Sitting in self-doubt isn't going to get you anywhere, other than dragging this out far longer than it needs to be.
Close your eyes and take the leap...
(And to answer the title, yes, you are still a writer. You gave me that answer many years ago in one of my posts when I was doubting myself.)
Sometimes I just need that tough love advice. Thanks for sharing it, Yacoob! You're right, as you are in pretty much in every interaction I've had with you. Nothing comes out of waiting. Self-doubt will only accumulate and then make it harder to move forward. I need to stop the comparison game. Thanks for answering the question in my title - haha, we've been having these internal questions for a long time. I have no memory of this, but I am glad you remembered.
Hi Rafia, I resonate so much with this sentiment. “Writing feels self-indulgent. But I can’t not do it.” I have a long list of pieces that are half done, or in my head, that I feel I have to write but don’t have the time to do. As I was telling my husband last night, I feel in my body that I must get them out.
Hi Jordan, it's so nice to read your comment. I've been seeing all the recent work you've been doing and I can understand why you feel you've been so busy, because you have been! What are some topics you've been wanting to write about? Is your husband a writer too?
My husband is an attorney (public defender) and writes very well. His feedback has helped my own a lot, but writing isn’t central to who he is in the way it is for me.
I have some more reflective or theological pieces I want to get out, but lately I’ve been prioritizing things connected to current events. Your piece and this exchange is helpful motivation!
That's interesting to me, that your husband writes well yet for him it's a means to an end. But it's so nice that he actually reads what you write and gives feedback!
That makes sense - there's a lot going on everyday. Every time I watch news segments, I'm just outraged and I want to write something... but it's mostly to vent. I don't have anything particularly unique to say.
Thank you, Jordan! It's been great have this sidebar conversation with you too. Will you be doing any events in Indy in the near future?
Oh, I didn't make the connection that you're in Indy?! Next time I go home to visit family I hope to do some events. It'd be wonderful to connect in person.
Yep, been here about a decade. I remember your name from an event you spoke at with the CIC a few years back. It might have been before you started your PhD.
Congrats on your new-ish mentor and making revisions on your manuscript. About not feeling ready or good enough, honestly, readiness will never come, sometimes we have have to jump into it scared and it'll lead us somewhere. Waiting feels worse than 'failing' and getting rejections is making progress. Every rejection is a step closer to an acceptance, which is better than waiting in the sideline. Also I've seen people on LinkedIn who offer services to help people refine their manuscripts and concept and help them with finding literary agents and publishers. Maybe you can start there? Get help from someone who's already been in your shoes?
Also it doesn't matter if you don't have a job or a Phd, you're successful because of who you are not the hats you wear that come and go. I'm proud of you for putting yourself out there through this newsletter and writing a whole 80K word manuscript!! Wow that's incredible, I don't think I've ever written that many words in my entire existence!
Thank you for such an encouraging comment, Leena. Does waiting feel worse then failing? Hmmm.... I think I hate the feeling of rejection more. But I think it's because I'm attached to now outmoded idea that failure represents you as a person. I know it's not true, and yet it feels that way. I have connected with some established authors who have given me advice on what to do to get an agent, but down in the weeds kind of work on my manuscript would require me hiring someone. I'm just not willing to do that. I think it's because I am cheap, but also because I don't think it's "worth it"
Oh, I'm sure you've written 80K collectively. When I was at 40K, I didn't think I could reach double that amount. But I just continued to write. I actually cut about 10K during my last revisions. I'm sure I'll need to cut more. I think momentum builds. Like yesterday, I told myself I'd probably only be able to run 2 miles. I ended up doing 6. Maybe I should see my memoir in that way... but I am still holding back. Maybe I need to interrogate why.
Imposter syndrome is real, we’ve all been there, but the reality is the reality we anticipate. That’s why positive thinking is so important. You have to believe in yourself. I don’t think it’s about ‘Am I good enough’ but more about 'if Allah has given me the opportunity I must try to His sake’. What helps me is having a sense of purpose beyond myself. Like if I do this thing, what greater cause is it contributing to as opposed to if I do this thing it’ll make me successful. I hope this helps and Allah will make the process easier!
You're so right and I love the way you changed the framing of it... it's not about self-aggrandizing, but making use of your opportunities to benefit others. I do have that intention - to help other Muslim women especially with my story, but also to increase understanding of the nuanced way in which Islam is practiced. If I keep that in mind, I think that will help Insha'Allah. Thank you, Leena!
I love that mission! Everyone's story matters and I'm sure sharing yours will allow you to connect with others who've similar experiences. I wish immense success and barakah in your journey!! You're gonna do big(ger) things in life, I know it!!
I love this, “maybe my next post will actually be about something” I just want to say that this post IS about something. It is process, and process is so much more than outcome. It is brave. It is honest. It is real. Thank you
Thank you dear Magd. You are right. Process is something and that's really what this Substack was about. I reminded myself of that after I hit publish. It's like the inner flesh and skeleton. I am uncomfortable with sharing a perfectly curated image of whatever, because it doesn't exist and I am certainly not that. I'd rather be real rather than present an image of who I should be and what I should be writing.
Thank you, Ann! I feel a little uneasy about forcing myself to write everyday. I am pretty regimented about other things. I suppose I can try it... but maybe I'm still too concerned about output. Is this what you do? Do you find it helpful?
Do you write everyday? Does journaling count for you? I journal more frequently than I write publicly, especially after the year I've had. But to me, that doesn't feel like real writing, you know?
Thanks for the encouragement. Not everything has to be published - I struggle with that, but you're right. Not everything has to be published. I'm learning that lesson from all the rejections I've received lately.
I’m very late to this comment thread because my life has been to busy to read…
As someone who has read your whole memoir, I can’t wait to read your revised version to see what pieces of yourself you’ve added to it. Your “story” is interesting. You are “good enough.”
Write the query. Send it out. Share your words. They matter.
Unless you're actively working with a writing coach to help you improve the manuscript, I really don't see a point in waiting. Send it out and see what comes back, then work from there to improve it - if you get rejections (which, by the way, are almost certain...it's just part of being a writer).
Or if you still want to wait, get on board with someone who specialises in memoir and work with them towards a deadline of when you want to submit to publishers. Sitting in self-doubt isn't going to get you anywhere, other than dragging this out far longer than it needs to be.
Close your eyes and take the leap...
(And to answer the title, yes, you are still a writer. You gave me that answer many years ago in one of my posts when I was doubting myself.)
Sometimes I just need that tough love advice. Thanks for sharing it, Yacoob! You're right, as you are in pretty much in every interaction I've had with you. Nothing comes out of waiting. Self-doubt will only accumulate and then make it harder to move forward. I need to stop the comparison game. Thanks for answering the question in my title - haha, we've been having these internal questions for a long time. I have no memory of this, but I am glad you remembered.
Hi Rafia, I resonate so much with this sentiment. “Writing feels self-indulgent. But I can’t not do it.” I have a long list of pieces that are half done, or in my head, that I feel I have to write but don’t have the time to do. As I was telling my husband last night, I feel in my body that I must get them out.
Hi Jordan, it's so nice to read your comment. I've been seeing all the recent work you've been doing and I can understand why you feel you've been so busy, because you have been! What are some topics you've been wanting to write about? Is your husband a writer too?
My husband is an attorney (public defender) and writes very well. His feedback has helped my own a lot, but writing isn’t central to who he is in the way it is for me.
I have some more reflective or theological pieces I want to get out, but lately I’ve been prioritizing things connected to current events. Your piece and this exchange is helpful motivation!
That's interesting to me, that your husband writes well yet for him it's a means to an end. But it's so nice that he actually reads what you write and gives feedback!
That makes sense - there's a lot going on everyday. Every time I watch news segments, I'm just outraged and I want to write something... but it's mostly to vent. I don't have anything particularly unique to say.
Thank you, Jordan! It's been great have this sidebar conversation with you too. Will you be doing any events in Indy in the near future?
Oh, I didn't make the connection that you're in Indy?! Next time I go home to visit family I hope to do some events. It'd be wonderful to connect in person.
Yep, been here about a decade. I remember your name from an event you spoke at with the CIC a few years back. It might have been before you started your PhD.
Oh right! It was ages ago. It’d be great to connect next time. I’m in town.
Congrats on your new-ish mentor and making revisions on your manuscript. About not feeling ready or good enough, honestly, readiness will never come, sometimes we have have to jump into it scared and it'll lead us somewhere. Waiting feels worse than 'failing' and getting rejections is making progress. Every rejection is a step closer to an acceptance, which is better than waiting in the sideline. Also I've seen people on LinkedIn who offer services to help people refine their manuscripts and concept and help them with finding literary agents and publishers. Maybe you can start there? Get help from someone who's already been in your shoes?
Also it doesn't matter if you don't have a job or a Phd, you're successful because of who you are not the hats you wear that come and go. I'm proud of you for putting yourself out there through this newsletter and writing a whole 80K word manuscript!! Wow that's incredible, I don't think I've ever written that many words in my entire existence!
Thank you for such an encouraging comment, Leena. Does waiting feel worse then failing? Hmmm.... I think I hate the feeling of rejection more. But I think it's because I'm attached to now outmoded idea that failure represents you as a person. I know it's not true, and yet it feels that way. I have connected with some established authors who have given me advice on what to do to get an agent, but down in the weeds kind of work on my manuscript would require me hiring someone. I'm just not willing to do that. I think it's because I am cheap, but also because I don't think it's "worth it"
Oh, I'm sure you've written 80K collectively. When I was at 40K, I didn't think I could reach double that amount. But I just continued to write. I actually cut about 10K during my last revisions. I'm sure I'll need to cut more. I think momentum builds. Like yesterday, I told myself I'd probably only be able to run 2 miles. I ended up doing 6. Maybe I should see my memoir in that way... but I am still holding back. Maybe I need to interrogate why.
Imposter syndrome is real, we’ve all been there, but the reality is the reality we anticipate. That’s why positive thinking is so important. You have to believe in yourself. I don’t think it’s about ‘Am I good enough’ but more about 'if Allah has given me the opportunity I must try to His sake’. What helps me is having a sense of purpose beyond myself. Like if I do this thing, what greater cause is it contributing to as opposed to if I do this thing it’ll make me successful. I hope this helps and Allah will make the process easier!
You're so right and I love the way you changed the framing of it... it's not about self-aggrandizing, but making use of your opportunities to benefit others. I do have that intention - to help other Muslim women especially with my story, but also to increase understanding of the nuanced way in which Islam is practiced. If I keep that in mind, I think that will help Insha'Allah. Thank you, Leena!
I love that mission! Everyone's story matters and I'm sure sharing yours will allow you to connect with others who've similar experiences. I wish immense success and barakah in your journey!! You're gonna do big(ger) things in life, I know it!!
Ameen. Thank you so much for your belief in me, Leena. It warmed my heart to read this comment. The blessings of jumu'ah! <3
I love this, “maybe my next post will actually be about something” I just want to say that this post IS about something. It is process, and process is so much more than outcome. It is brave. It is honest. It is real. Thank you
Thank you dear Magd. You are right. Process is something and that's really what this Substack was about. I reminded myself of that after I hit publish. It's like the inner flesh and skeleton. I am uncomfortable with sharing a perfectly curated image of whatever, because it doesn't exist and I am certainly not that. I'd rather be real rather than present an image of who I should be and what I should be writing.
🌹🤎 You’re welcome. It’s beautiful
Keep going! Writing is a habit. Put it in your calendar. Make time. Even if it’s 5 minutes per day. 😊 You can do this.
Thank you, Ann! I feel a little uneasy about forcing myself to write everyday. I am pretty regimented about other things. I suppose I can try it... but maybe I'm still too concerned about output. Is this what you do? Do you find it helpful?
You decide your output and frequency, but writing regularly has helped me. 😊
Do you write everyday? Does journaling count for you? I journal more frequently than I write publicly, especially after the year I've had. But to me, that doesn't feel like real writing, you know?
I’m coming from a place of encouragement and yes, I think writing is writing. Not everything has to be published online. 😊
Thanks for the encouragement. Not everything has to be published - I struggle with that, but you're right. Not everything has to be published. I'm learning that lesson from all the rejections I've received lately.
I’m very late to this comment thread because my life has been to busy to read…
As someone who has read your whole memoir, I can’t wait to read your revised version to see what pieces of yourself you’ve added to it. Your “story” is interesting. You are “good enough.”
Write the query. Send it out. Share your words. They matter.