I wrote and self-published a memoir about 10 years ago. Now, I'm serializing my latest memoir chapter by chapter on Substack. So, I have some sense of what you're going through, and I hope to encourage you to keep going.
What struck me about your tone was your openness, simplicity, and honesty. I think we all struggle with black and white thinking, but if you're asking the question, then you're aware of it, which is a heck of a lot better than unconsciously believing you do not fall into this way of thinking.
I love the reflection about balance even in the 99 names of Allah. I feel like balanced thinking is something we have to practice to get better at and learn more about the nuances of different circumstances. I'm still learning but the 99 names of Allah really helped me with that Alhamdulillah.
Alhamdulillah, I'm glad you feel the 99 names have helped you find more balance. They are really great to reflect on. I have to remind myself to get outside of my muddled head and remember Allah. I think my understanding of God's Mercy has increased in the past couple of years, but I know I'm still just a newbie. That reminds me of have you read Jinan Yousef's Reflecting on the Names of Allah (https://reflectingon.life/book)? It's a great book.
I didn't even realize there was one - this one actually seems like a good guided journal. Good in that I would actually use it. I like the idea of daily planners, but my routines are habits now, so I don't find them very helpful. My journals are just crazy crazy
Oh, it's a wonderful book! I read it for the first time maybe two Ramadans ago, and it's the perfect mix of knowledge + contemporary reflection. Check out some of her online articles here: https://yaqeeninstitute.org/team/jinan-yousef. But yeah, in my opinion, totally worth the purchase.
I agree with you 100% about black and white thinking. But it sounds like your struggle is perhaps with Islam itself which in many versions that I have seen (I am not Muslim) appears to promote black and white thinking. Is it possible that your instinct is correct and Islam itself is flawed?
Thank you for replying and not simply deleting. I did indeed read and my comment was intended to be respectful. It's a sincere question. I was reacting to where you said that "Islam Q&A says I’m going to Hell. I know things are more nuanced than that. This Black & White type of thinking, which I also chronicle in my book, has plagued me for years."
Thanks for clarifying and pointing out what I wrote that lead you to ask this question. I realize that my post may read in a certain way to people not familiar with various interpretations of Islam, which was not at all my intention. You would have to have some familiarity with that website in question and its methodology to truly get the issue. Simply put: it's not Islam that's the problem, it's our modern-day understanding of it. I sometimes forget that not everyone who reads my Substack is super familiar with the religion. I apologize if I added to the confusion. I hope this helps.
Helps a little bit but... how does someone like you (or me) sort out which teachers of Islam are correct and which are incorrect? I mean, you mentioned "Islam Q&A" whoever that is. Who out there is teaching it correctly and how do you/we know?
I would say you start off by learning the history of Islam, especially during the modern period. You can't really understand the methodology behind websites like Islam Q&A without knowing the history of Wahhabism/salafism and in turn, the history of colonialism in the Middle East, the former in many respects being a reaction to the latter. This is true of any religion though. At some point, your heart will align with what you believe to be true. Some might say that I don't have the correct understanding and honestly, only God knows. If you look at the religion through only a materialist lens though, you'll forever be obsessed with correctness. I try not to be dogmatic, but I realize that I often fail in the regard. I could point you to scholars I like, if you are interested. Thank you for your questions. You've given me a lot to think about and how I write.
In terms of black and white thinking, I would say I used to be a lot more judgmental of others - particular if their behaviours or view were different to mine. And I think over time - getting older, experiencing more, and coming to see how each person is an incredibly complex collection of personal histories, traumas, successes, and so much more - I think it's helped me to be far more understanding of others, instead of the knee-jerk negative thoughts. It doesn't mean we have to *accept* everything, but it just means it's best to be patient and approach with empathy, rather than immediate judgement.
Sorry for my delay... Didn't realize I had never responded to you. First of all, it was soooooo nice to talk to you yesterday! Can't wait for the next session. Can I call it a session? No. It was something more. Connection? I love you too <3
OK. I love everything about your comment. I feel like I have to do a full commentary of your comment....
This is where, from the little I know of Arabic, English translations do such a disservice to the Qur'an. Now I understand why scholars were initially against translating the Book into other languages. The nuance and richness that is inherent to the Arabic language of the Qur'an gets lost. Fear is such a limiting word and also therefore limits God.
"Much of it is almost learning to differentiate or to identify whose voice is actually making these claims on behalf of God’s wrath" - THIS line though really hit me. So, so, so true. I came across someone doing a commentary on a Quranic passage and I was like, "Hold up..." I'm not saying I am an expert, but it's so important to know the background and ideologies of people who are doing this exegesis... and those are people who have training. Then there's the laypeople who think because they have a copy of a nice translation, they can go about condemning people. Sorry, clearly this is still a sore spot for me. Some might say I'm just letting my ego get in the way, and I haven't truly submitted, but I also know that Allah (swt)'s Mercy is greater than His Wrath as He says Himself (I've been trying to not use He in Place of God... but it's so hard). That doesn't give me license to do what I want, but it should at least make me humble in my interactions with others.
Subhan'Allah, thank you Magd. May Allah bless you!
Wow, Masha'Allah, thank you so much for sharing this with me, Yemsheen! This is Insha'Allah a sign that you are on the path exemplified in this Hadith Qudsi: "...Whoever draws close to Me by the length of a hand, I will draw close to him by the length of an arm. Whoever draws close to Me the by length of an arm, I will draw close to him by the length of a fathom. Whoever comes to Me walking, I will come to him running...” That's what I immediately thought of. When you make your intention and love be Allah, you will see God everywhere. Masha'Allah. May you continue on this path and inspire others on a similar journey.
As I mentioned in a previous comment, I absolutely loved Jinan Yousef's Reflecting on the Names of Allah (https://reflectingon.life/book). Have you read it before?
I am not familiar with the viva exam. Can you share more? Insha'Allah you will do well on it!
Wa alaikum as-salaam Yemsheen! Welcome to Substack. I hope you find being on this platform overall beneficial and just what you need.
Thank you so much for your kind comment about my writing. It means so much to know that you appreciate the staccato of my sentences :)
I totally agree with you that through writing we can find peace and contentment in Allah (swt)'s will.. and others have other means to do so. We were created differently and naturally our path to God will also be somewhat unique.
love this, it's so hard, writing, but rooting for you and your book!!!
Thank you, Reem!
I wrote and self-published a memoir about 10 years ago. Now, I'm serializing my latest memoir chapter by chapter on Substack. So, I have some sense of what you're going through, and I hope to encourage you to keep going.
What struck me about your tone was your openness, simplicity, and honesty. I think we all struggle with black and white thinking, but if you're asking the question, then you're aware of it, which is a heck of a lot better than unconsciously believing you do not fall into this way of thinking.
Oh, wow! How's that going for you? Thanks for the encouragement and for your very kind comment. :)
I love the reflection about balance even in the 99 names of Allah. I feel like balanced thinking is something we have to practice to get better at and learn more about the nuances of different circumstances. I'm still learning but the 99 names of Allah really helped me with that Alhamdulillah.
Alhamdulillah, I'm glad you feel the 99 names have helped you find more balance. They are really great to reflect on. I have to remind myself to get outside of my muddled head and remember Allah. I think my understanding of God's Mercy has increased in the past couple of years, but I know I'm still just a newbie. That reminds me of have you read Jinan Yousef's Reflecting on the Names of Allah (https://reflectingon.life/book)? It's a great book.
Ok their guided journal is absolutely beautiful! As a journaling girlie I'm fangirling, might have to get one!
I didn't even realize there was one - this one actually seems like a good guided journal. Good in that I would actually use it. I like the idea of daily planners, but my routines are habits now, so I don't find them very helpful. My journals are just crazy crazy
No I haven't! I mostly use myislam.org but this seems pretty cool, I'll check it out!
Oh, it's a wonderful book! I read it for the first time maybe two Ramadans ago, and it's the perfect mix of knowledge + contemporary reflection. Check out some of her online articles here: https://yaqeeninstitute.org/team/jinan-yousef. But yeah, in my opinion, totally worth the purchase.
I agree with you 100% about black and white thinking. But it sounds like your struggle is perhaps with Islam itself which in many versions that I have seen (I am not Muslim) appears to promote black and white thinking. Is it possible that your instinct is correct and Islam itself is flawed?
Did you even read what I wrote? It seems like you have a problem with Muslims.
Thank you for replying and not simply deleting. I did indeed read and my comment was intended to be respectful. It's a sincere question. I was reacting to where you said that "Islam Q&A says I’m going to Hell. I know things are more nuanced than that. This Black & White type of thinking, which I also chronicle in my book, has plagued me for years."
Thanks for clarifying and pointing out what I wrote that lead you to ask this question. I realize that my post may read in a certain way to people not familiar with various interpretations of Islam, which was not at all my intention. You would have to have some familiarity with that website in question and its methodology to truly get the issue. Simply put: it's not Islam that's the problem, it's our modern-day understanding of it. I sometimes forget that not everyone who reads my Substack is super familiar with the religion. I apologize if I added to the confusion. I hope this helps.
Helps a little bit but... how does someone like you (or me) sort out which teachers of Islam are correct and which are incorrect? I mean, you mentioned "Islam Q&A" whoever that is. Who out there is teaching it correctly and how do you/we know?
I would say you start off by learning the history of Islam, especially during the modern period. You can't really understand the methodology behind websites like Islam Q&A without knowing the history of Wahhabism/salafism and in turn, the history of colonialism in the Middle East, the former in many respects being a reaction to the latter. This is true of any religion though. At some point, your heart will align with what you believe to be true. Some might say that I don't have the correct understanding and honestly, only God knows. If you look at the religion through only a materialist lens though, you'll forever be obsessed with correctness. I try not to be dogmatic, but I realize that I often fail in the regard. I could point you to scholars I like, if you are interested. Thank you for your questions. You've given me a lot to think about and how I write.
👍🏼
In terms of black and white thinking, I would say I used to be a lot more judgmental of others - particular if their behaviours or view were different to mine. And I think over time - getting older, experiencing more, and coming to see how each person is an incredibly complex collection of personal histories, traumas, successes, and so much more - I think it's helped me to be far more understanding of others, instead of the knee-jerk negative thoughts. It doesn't mean we have to *accept* everything, but it just means it's best to be patient and approach with empathy, rather than immediate judgement.
Sorry for my delay... Didn't realize I had never responded to you. First of all, it was soooooo nice to talk to you yesterday! Can't wait for the next session. Can I call it a session? No. It was something more. Connection? I love you too <3
OK. I love everything about your comment. I feel like I have to do a full commentary of your comment....
This is where, from the little I know of Arabic, English translations do such a disservice to the Qur'an. Now I understand why scholars were initially against translating the Book into other languages. The nuance and richness that is inherent to the Arabic language of the Qur'an gets lost. Fear is such a limiting word and also therefore limits God.
"Much of it is almost learning to differentiate or to identify whose voice is actually making these claims on behalf of God’s wrath" - THIS line though really hit me. So, so, so true. I came across someone doing a commentary on a Quranic passage and I was like, "Hold up..." I'm not saying I am an expert, but it's so important to know the background and ideologies of people who are doing this exegesis... and those are people who have training. Then there's the laypeople who think because they have a copy of a nice translation, they can go about condemning people. Sorry, clearly this is still a sore spot for me. Some might say I'm just letting my ego get in the way, and I haven't truly submitted, but I also know that Allah (swt)'s Mercy is greater than His Wrath as He says Himself (I've been trying to not use He in Place of God... but it's so hard). That doesn't give me license to do what I want, but it should at least make me humble in my interactions with others.
Subhan'Allah, thank you Magd. May Allah bless you!
Wow, Masha'Allah, thank you so much for sharing this with me, Yemsheen! This is Insha'Allah a sign that you are on the path exemplified in this Hadith Qudsi: "...Whoever draws close to Me by the length of a hand, I will draw close to him by the length of an arm. Whoever draws close to Me the by length of an arm, I will draw close to him by the length of a fathom. Whoever comes to Me walking, I will come to him running...” That's what I immediately thought of. When you make your intention and love be Allah, you will see God everywhere. Masha'Allah. May you continue on this path and inspire others on a similar journey.
As I mentioned in a previous comment, I absolutely loved Jinan Yousef's Reflecting on the Names of Allah (https://reflectingon.life/book). Have you read it before?
I am not familiar with the viva exam. Can you share more? Insha'Allah you will do well on it!
Insha’Allah, a good book to read this Ramadan maybe!
Wa alaikum as-salaam Yemsheen! Welcome to Substack. I hope you find being on this platform overall beneficial and just what you need.
Thank you so much for your kind comment about my writing. It means so much to know that you appreciate the staccato of my sentences :)
I totally agree with you that through writing we can find peace and contentment in Allah (swt)'s will.. and others have other means to do so. We were created differently and naturally our path to God will also be somewhat unique.